Runaway Bride
by stexgirl2000
Summary: Hoshi is getting married! Drunkeness ensues! Chaos happens! Vacation hilarity occurs!
1. Liquid Truth

Title: The Runaway Bride...or How Hoshi Learned To Stop Worrying  
  
Author: Stexgirl2000  
  
Disclaimers: Horror! I don't own any part of Enterprise or the whole Star Trek universe. It all belongs to Paramount. I'm just having fun with this and don't get a penny. This disclaimer stands for all the chapters for this story.  
  
Rating: PG-13 for some language and sexual innuendo.  
  
Category: Friendship, Humor, Romance.  
  
Codes: S, All. ?/?/S  
  
Spoilers: Nah. Not really. But it's set after the seven year mission.  
  
Summary: Hoshi is getting married! Drunkenness ensues! Opinions are spouted! Chaos breaks out! Vacation hilarity ensues! (At least I hope so...)  
  
Author's Note: This story is for Marag's birthday. She wanted a friendship story, fluffy, silly and happy. I tried to keep shippiness out of it, and for the most part, I did. Well, at least until the end. But I don't think Marag will mind the way I put in the shippiness. Anyway, here it is. Thanks to Taryn Eve for betaing this puppy and some great suggestions for a few of the one-liners.  
  
Archive: LD has permission. So does Warp 5 and Lumi. Everyone else, ask me first.  
  
Part One: Liquid Truth  
  
Hoshi leaned over the side of table and fell onto the floor, squealing with laughter. The rest of the table looked at her in amazement, varying degrees of shock on their faces.  
  
Turning to Phlox, T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "If I did not see it for myself, I would have said that it is impossible to fall out of a chair while sitting perfectly still."  
  
Phlox, sipping a soda, a happy grin stretching across his face. "Yes, well, now you know it is possible. I am so glad I was able to make back to Earth in time! This whole event has proved to be fascinating!"  
  
Sitting on the floor, Hoshi continued to laugh, tears streaming down her face. "I fell!"  
  
Grinning from ear to ear, Jon reached down and easily hauled her up as Malcolm righted her chair with unsteady hands. Settling her back down, Jon chuckled as Hoshi continued laugh, tears streaming down her face. "Yep. You fell, Hoshi. Right outta of your chair."  
  
"I wan' a drink!" exclaimed Hoshi as Travis moved her glass out her way.  
  
Malcolm's eyes went wide as he staggered back to his seat, nearly missing it. Trip snorted as he handed over a beer. "Darlin', you don't wanna anudder drink."  
  
Hoshi pouted. "It's my ba... my bach... my ba... my bachelorette party! 'An I wan' anoooother!" She started sliding her chair, prompting Liz and Jon to brace her from sliding anymore.  
  
Liz shook her head as Alison Hess knocked back a shot of tequila and shrugged. "I think we sho' give her another drink. Hey, Hoshi, wan' some tequillialia? Er, a Bloody Mary?"  
  
"Hair of the bloody dog tha' bit you? Eh?" said Malcolm a bit unsteadily. He frowned and looked at his beer. "I don' know if tha' really works."  
  
"It doesn't," said Travis firmly, passing off Hoshi's glass to a waiter. "Besides, all of you, except for the Doc, T'Pol and I, are either three sheets to the wind or almost there."  
  
Trip stood up and wobbled. "I'm nah three shits to the wind!" he declared firmly.  
  
Jon pushed him back down as Hoshi grabbed Jon's drink and drained it in one gulp. "Yo, buddy, you are, Trip. Hey! Hoshi! Damn it, that was my scotch! I was nursing that! Shit!"  
  
Liz and Alison laughed and Travis rolled his eyes. Trip signaled the waiter and Malcolm leaned over and said to Phlox, "D..ddd..dociticor, I thin' we're going to end up needling, neebleing, needing yer help soon."  
  
Phlox patted Malcolm on the shoulder. "Don't worry, Malcolm, I know. I've known for about two hours now."  
  
"Good." Malcolm pitched forward, and T'Pol's arm shot out, keeping him from crashing face down on the table.  
  
As the humans broke out in gales of laughter, T'Pol shoved Malcolm backwards into his chair, restrained distaste on her features. "I do not understand this particular human custom of taking a bride or groom out before their wedding and causing them to become inebriated beyond rational limits. It is not logical by any stretch of the imagination"  
  
As she finished, Malcolm batted away her hand and settled his head down on the table, using his arms as a pillow. Travis snorted, "Damn, he's plastered. You'd think he'd hold his liquor better. Shoot, I thought Trip would be the first to pass out."  
  
Trip smiled widely and Hoshi reached across to poke Malcolm, who didn't flinch or move. Jon chuckled again. "Nope. I won the bet, Travis. Pay up!"  
  
Before Travis could protest, T'Pol's other eyebrow went up. "No one has answered my question. What is the purpose of this?"  
  
As she finished, Alison chortled, her face turning red as she laughed hysterically. "Wha is thisss nigh differint from all othersss!"  
  
As the rest looked at Alison oddly, Liz sipped at her drink and Hoshi grabbed a drink off of a passing waiter's tray, downing it with a happy sigh.  
  
Jon shrugged and took a drink from Trip's beer glass. Trip snatched the glass from him and slapped at his hand. "Damn it Cap'n, keep yer paws off my damn beer. I dunno, T'Pol, it just has somethin' to do with givin' the soon-be-married folk a bit o' fun. A cele...a cele...aw crap, a party!"  
  
Malcolm blearily looked up from the table. "I misssss any...any...anythin'?"  
  
"Nope," said Trip. Malcolm put his head back down. Grinning, Trip gave Malcolm's head a small pat. "Ain't he cute?" he said to T'Pol.  
  
For her part, T'Pol raised an eyebrow and tried not to roll her eyes.  
  
Alison knocked back another tequila shot and squirted lime into her mouth. "Ssssometimes is anna excuse to talk the bride outta makin' a missstakeee."  
  
Hoshi was sliding down again and Liz motioned for Travis to help her as she nodded in agreement to what Hess was saying. "Yep. My sis...sis...sister wanted to get married at eighteen to this really slezzy, er, ah, sleazy guy. We all took her out and got her so plasssstertered, she couldn't make the wed...weddin' in time. An' she caughtted the guy makin' out with the wedding co..co..ha hell, coordinator. That, an' a hangover from hell, stopped the wedding."  
  
"So, you are saying that Hoshi should not marry Hamilton?" asked T'Pol. She looked at Phlox, who shrugged in confusion.  
  
Jon took a drink from his new glass of scotch. "Weeelllll...yeah."  
  
Trip stood up abruptly, swaying slightly as he held up his beer. "Hell, yeah! He's a dull, borin', stick-in-the-mud! Don' ap-pre-ci-ate wha' he's a gettin'! Nope! Wan' her to be a dull...a dull... a dull, y'know, whatchamacallit..."  
  
"'Fessor," supplied Liz. She hiccuped and took a large swallow from her drink. "He's a control freak too, ya know. I mean, he calleded her wehb we in da little girlsss room. Wanted to remime...remime...remind her it was late an' she shoould go home sooon. An' he pickited the dress she's wearin'."  
  
Travis pulled from his wife's hands her drink and sighed. "Liz, honey, I think you'd better switch to coffee now."  
  
Hoshi looked at Trip in surprise. "Ya' tink Hamilton is dull? Contrelling?"  
  
As Trip nodded furiously, Jon leaned in and patted her hand. "Makes my speeches look good, Hoshi."  
  
Hoshi flinched and swayed in her chair. "Lookit...I know he's nah the most..."  
  
"Bloody paint drying is more fun," interrupted Malcolm, sitting up slowly and enunciating each word. "Bloody paint. Man has no perfunality."  
  
"Personality," corrected Alison.  
  
"That's wha' I bloody said," slurred Malcolm.  
  
"He's a dork," declared Liz. She sagged against Travis who kissed her forehead.  
  
"Hmm, interesting that all of you did not tell Hoshi your opinions when she first announced her engagement," said Phlox.  
  
"Indeed," agreed T'Pol.  
  
Jon frowned. "Hoshi's a big girl, an' can make up her own damn mind..."  
  
Travis sighed. "Besides, T'Pol, if she's determined to marry him, there's not much we can say to change her mind."  
  
"Hamilton don' like ussss," said Alison. "Don' like wha' we all have, bein' together on the Enerrprise." She knocked back yet another shot and Jon grinned at her. On wobbly legs he went over and gave her a firm, passionate kiss on the lips.  
  
"Damn, you're cute when you're opinionated," he cooed. Alison scooted over in her chair and Jon plopped down. After a second, he then put her on his lap. The rest of the group, except for an unmoving Malcolm, blinked at them.  
  
Hoshi stood up and pointed a finger at Jon. "Ya bastard! You tol' me there was nuttin' goin' on! Alison, you lyin'..." She swayed and sat down hard in her chair, elbows hitting the table, spilling her drink.  
  
With a jolt, Malcolm looked up. Seeing Alison on Jon's lap, he grinned. "Knew it!" He put his head back down.  
  
Trip whooped with laughter. "Me too! Jon, you dog you! An' you'd kissed 'er in fronna of God an' everybody. Pay up Trav, buddy!"  
  
Travis shook his head as Liz giggled. "Damn, I am not catching a break tonight," he groaned.  
  
T'Pol closed her eyes for moment, as if to calm herself in the face of the chaos her former crewmates were creating. Opening her eyes, she folded her hands into her lap. "My question about Hoshi's engagement to Hamilton has not been answered satisfactorily."  
  
Jon took swig from Alison's tequila bottle and grimaced. "Ah hell. Screw it. Look, I don't like 'em. He'll stifle her. An' he hates dogs...don' like 'em when they hate dogs..."  
  
"Me too!" said Alison emphatic shake of her head. She swayed a bit in Jon's lap.  
  
"Man is drier than burned toast," announced Trip. He downed the last of his beer and slammed the mug on table. "An he squirts, naw, squeaks, eh, squinks, ah shit, squints funny at us!"  
  
Malcolm's head popped up. "'Ere, 'ere! Man's a wan, a wan, a wanker." Slowly, he rose from his chair and staggered over to Hoshi. "Fuck. Hoshi, luv, don' marry t' git."  
  
Liz reached out and patted Hoshi's arm. "Yeah! Wha' he said!"  
  
Hoshi glared at her friends. "Trav? Wha' you think?" She woozily peered at him and Travis threw a despairing look at Phlox and T'Pol.  
  
"Do not look at me," said Phlox, crossing his arms. "I only met the man yesterday." He looked at T'Pol.  
  
T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "As if such a thing has stopped you from advancing your opinion before." She stopped and sighed. "As all of you are staring at me, it must mean that you seek my opinion on the subject."  
  
"Yep," said Jon, wrapping his arms around Alison. "Fess up T'Pol."  
  
Giving her friend an arch look, T'Pol pursed her lips and said in a halting tone, "I must admit, in all honesty, that Hoshi's choice for a mate has left me...confused. I do not see the logic in her reasoning for choosing him..."  
  
Jon whooped, almost dumping Alison out of his lap as Trip and Liz cackled in unison. "There ya go! Vulcan logic! If T'Pol ain't sure..."  
  
As T'Pol fixed Jon with a glare, Travis looked at Hoshi. "I don't like him, Hoshi," he said seriously. "I think he puts you down and discounts your opinions and views. At least when Liz and I have been around him. But it's your life and your choice."  
  
"Damn ri' it is!" yelled Hoshi, banging her hand on the table.  
  
Everyone in the Enterprise group and several people at the tables next to theirs stopped talking. Most of the people in the small bar stilled their conversations. At least a dozen or more pairs of eyes fixed on Hoshi. She stood up, a confused look plastered on her features. "Wha'? I say..."  
  
Hoshi swayed, blinked twice, and as drunk as he was, Malcolm barely caught her in time as she pitched forward toward the table. "She's bleedin' drunk!" he declared. The rest of the people around them turned away and the conversations in the bar went back to their full roar.  
  
Travis stood up, shaking his head. "I think the party is over. Doc, T'Pol, I'm going to need your help getting this crew back to the hotel..."  
  
"Indeed," said T'Pol in her driest tone. She vacated her chair with a prim swish.  
  
Phlox chuckled as he rose and steadied Malcolm. "Ah, a classic understatement! How wonderful! I have missed human behavior greatly."  
  
As Liz teetered over to him, Travis rolled his eyes. "I bet you have, Doc."  
  
Alison, Trip and Jon got up together, all swaying on unsteady legs. "Hey, do ya think' Hoshi willa get married in the morin'?" asked Trip as he threw an arm around Jon.  
  
"Don' know, buddy, don' know," slurred Jon.  
  
Alison looked at the litter of bottles and glasses on the table and grinned. "Sh, sh, sure as hell hope not!"  
  
"Look, let's go," sighed Travis. He threw a wad of bills down on the table, making eye contact with their waiter as he did so. "I'll take Hoshi out to the transport..." Travis hoisted Hoshi up and with Phlox helping Malcolm and Liz, and T'Pol guiding Alison, Jon, and Trip, they made their way out of the bar. 


	2. All the Wrong Reasons

Part Two: All the Wrong Reasons  
  
Hoshi groaned as light streamed into her room. Her head was pounding and her throat felt...furry. Throwing her pillow over her eyes, she spat out a few Klingon curses. A cheerful voice replied, "Now, now, Hoshi, no need to say that to me."  
  
A few noises made their way through the pillow and another voice entered the room. "Hoshi, you can take the pillow off of your eyes now."  
  
Gingerly, Hoshi removed the pillow. Blinking, she focused. It was Phlox and, oh God, her mother. Phlox looked amused, while her mother looked pissed off. "Hoshi, did you really have to go drinking with your Enterprise friends last night? One would think that at least a Vulcan would have kept you from becoming so, so, so..."  
  
"Inebriated?" supplied Phlox innocently. His eyes twinkled and Hoshi cursed at him in Denobulan. She squinted and as her stomach did a flip, last night came roaring back at her. Groaning, she attempted to turn over, which only succeeded at making her feel sick. Meanwhile, Phlox merely grinned at her words. "Now, now, I think my wives would disagree with you," he replied back in his own language.  
  
Hoshi peered up at him and flipped him off, still speaking Denobulan. "Phlox, just shut up and kill me now. Please."  
  
"Now, now, Hoshi. I can't do that..."  
  
Hoshi's mother gave an exasperated snort and planted her hands on her hips. "Doctor Phlox, if you would please speak in a language I can understand! This is all very serious! I need to know if Hoshi is going be all right for the ceremony..." As her mother babbled on, Hoshi became very still. The wedding? The WEDDING!  
  
The last thing she remembered before T'Pol and Travis settled her into bed was insisting on going to the vid-phone to call Hamilton and call off the wedding. Come to think of it, Hoshi thought, frowning when the throbbing of her head went up a notch, she called her parents too.  
  
Struggling to sit up, Hoshi cut her mother off. "Mother, if I remember correctly, I called off the wedding. I called Hamilton and told him the wedding was off. And swear I think I called you and daddy as well."  
  
Noriko Sato looked at her daughter as if she'd lost her mind. "Hoshi, sweetheart, you did, but you were so drunk that Hamilton ignored what you said; as did your father and I. Really now, you, of all people, wouldn't call off a wedding just on a drunken whim. Now would you? No."  
  
Hoshi opened her mouth to speak, but groaned as a wave of nausea hit her. Oblivious, her mother plunged on. "No, no, no, that is just not you, my dear. I am going to have a word with Jonathan Archer and T'Pol before the wedding about allowing you to get so intoxicated! And your friends just left in you that awful dress before getting you into bed..." Hoshi felt her eyes glaze over as mother continued.  
  
After a bit, her mother trailed off as she looked at her watch. "Oh, dear, I need to go and check on the caterer and then I have to get my hair done." She leaned over and kissed Hoshi on the cheek. "Feel better dearest and I'll see you later."  
  
Noriko was out the door before Hoshi could protest. With a sigh, she flopped back onto the bed. The sigh turned into another groan of pain. "Ahhh!! Phlox, I feel like..."  
  
Leaning over the bed, Phlox injected the hypospray into Hoshi's neck. "I'd say you have one hell of a hangover and feel like shit." Hoshi blinked at him in shock and Phlox smiled widely. "Trip said that to me earlier this morning. I thought it was appropriate to use here as well. There, you should be feeling the effect of the hypospray by now."  
  
Hoshi closed her eyes and sighed in relief. The pounding in her head was scaling back from a full set of kodo drums to an infinitesimal throb. "Oh, I'm feeling much better, Phlox, thank you."  
  
"You're welcome," replied Phlox. Hoshi opened her eyes and saw that he was staring down at her with a frown.  
  
Sitting back up Hoshi sighed. "You're giving me that look, Phlox. The look you give when you're about to unleash one of you psychological whammies."  
  
His frown disappeared into his trademark grin. "Well, I shouldn't be surprised that you can see through me. After all, seven years on the same ship together does breed familiarity. I suppose I need to come up with some new expressions, just to keep everyone on their toes."  
  
Running a hand through her hair, Hoshi let out a long breath. "Phlox, I need to get up, shower, call Hamilton to apologize for calling him while falling down drunk and then get ready for my wedding. Whatever you have to say, just say it."  
  
Phlox's smile faded. "You are still going to get married, even after what everyone said to you last night? Even after calling off the wedding?"  
  
All of Hoshi's fears and trepidation roared up in her mind, which she squashed with ruthless pride. "I was drunk. Jon, Trip, Malcolm, Liz and Alison were drunk. Drunk people say things they don't mean. I was just having cold feet."  
  
Phlox sat down on the edge of the bed, his blue eyes radiating skepticism. "T'Pol and Travis were not drunk and they voiced the same concerns and dislike toward your choice. Hoshi, some part of you is not happy with the choices you have made concerning this wedding. You have time to back out before it's too late. Ending a marriage is much harder than beginning one."  
  
Leaning forward, Hoshi put her head in her hands. She could feel tears coming on and trembled. Straightening up, she forced herself to smile. "Phlox, you don't understand, I have to get married."  
  
Blinking at her in confusion, Phlox shook his head. "I am not sure what you mean by that, Hoshi. As understand it, humans don't have arranged marriages anymore, nor do they have contractual marriages. What do you mean?"  
  
Not meeting his eyes, Hoshi stared up at the ceiling. "I'm thirty-five years old, Phlox. My oldest brother has no intention of having children. My younger brothers are just starting their careers. Even with advanced medical procedures, the best time for me to have children is now. I'm my parents' only chance for grandchildren..." She trailed off and got up out of bed. Going over to the window, Hoshi opened the blinds and stared out at the courtyard below.  
  
"Let's face it, everyone else has someone. You have your wives and family. T'Pol has a bond mate back on Vulcan now. Travis and Liz are married and very happy. Jon will probably be marrying Alison soon, because she's only a few years older than me and she's feeling the baby itch too. Plus Jon is feeling the urge to make sure the Archer legacy doesn't die out with him. Trip is, well, Trip. He's gotten in touch with Natalie again, but he's got two or three women after him right now. Hell, even Malcolm's dating steadily."  
  
Phlox gave a little harrumph. "Hoshi, I do believe you are in error. Trip told us last night Natalie went back to her husband. As for Malcolm dating steadily, it's Trip he's dating now. Oh, that's right, you were still passed out and didn't see their, what did Jonathan call it? Ah, yes, their 'makeout session' in the back of the transport last night."  
  
Hoshi closed her eyes in pain. "Fuck! Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck! How is it that I'm the last one to know? That's just great; Trip and Malcolm are dating each other. So it's official: that just leaves me. I'm the last one. Everyone has someone. No, I have someone. Hamilton loves me and wants to be with me." Opening her eyes, she went back over to the bed and sat down with a heavy thud.  
  
Phlox's voice was wise and kind as he spoke. "Hoshi, fear of not having children or being alone is not a good reason to get married. You know that. You're a very intelligent woman and a very beautiful woman. If you are not sure that Hamilton is the one for you, you should not marry him. You should marry for the right reasons, not out of fear."  
  
Easier said than done, thought Hoshi sourly. Does anyone ever marry for the right reasons? Really?  
  
Hoshi felt Phlox give her a gentle pat on her shoulder as he continued to speak. "Hoshi, trust that one day you will be loved for who you are. That your partner in life will be your friend. That there will be passion and laughter and joy. When you find those elements, then you'll be marrying for the right reasons." Opening her eyes, she put on a brave smile for Phlox, tears forming in her eyes. They sat for a moment, letting the quiet of the room wash over them.  
  
A knock at the door ended their reverie. "Come in," called out Hoshi.  
  
Hoshi's cousin Sora walked into the room. "Hoshi, Aunt Noriko sent me. I've got the hairdresser out in the main part of the suite ready to go. Are you ready yet or do you need to jump into the shower still? Because if you do, I can have her start on the bridesmaids."  
  
Wiping her eyes, Hoshi smiled. "I'm going to jump into the shower, Sora. Have her start on Alison, Liz and the rest." Turning to Phlox she forced herself to smile wider. "Thank you, Phlox, for the hangover cure. I'm fine now. I'll see at the wedding!"  
  
Phlox got up and gazed down at her with kind eyes. "Think about what I said, Hoshi. It's not too late to change your mind." With that, he turned and left the room.  
  
Sora watched him leave and gave Hoshi a confused look. "What was that all about?"  
  
Getting up out of the bed, Hoshi waved her cousin off. "Nothing. Just some advice. Go get your hair done. I'm going to go shower."  
  
Only after Sora left and the door was closed, did Hoshi go sink back onto her bed, muttering, "Oh...fuck!" 


	3. Elaine! Elaine!

Part Three: Elaine! Elaine!!!!!!  
  
Jon Archer looked around and bit back a sigh. The small chapel on the campus of Starfleet Academy was filled to the brim. In the first three rows were seated Hoshi's and Hamilton' families. On Hoshi's side, sitting behind her family were the surviving members of the Enterprise's crew. Sixty-seven people, from Jonathan Archer, Phlox, Trip, Malcolm and Travis, to Chef, Karen Tran and Michael Rostov. The only people missing were Alison Hess, Liz Cutler and T'Pol, who were serving as three of Hoshi's bridesmaids.  
  
No, thought Jon, sadness overwhelming him, the rest of the missing were those who hadn't made it back.  
  
Jon shoved that thought aside. Today was supposed to be happy day. Looking at the glum faces of Trip, Malcolm, Travis and Phlox, Jon snorted to himself: yeah, right.  
  
Hoshi was marrying the wrong man and there was nothing they could do about it.  
  
To distract himself, Jon looked over at the other side. There on the groom's side were many of Hamilton' colleagues from UCLA. Jon counted at least fifteen professors, but they were out numbered by Hamilton's fellow coaches, as well as the entire football team. Jon Archer tried to be charitable about that: after all Hamilton was their head coach. Still, he thought it was a bit much.  
  
Behind them were friends of Hamilton' from Earth's Mobile Assault Commandos. It turned out that Hamilton had served as a lieutenant for five years. Major Hayes, who was sitting with Jon and the rest of the former bridge crew, knew Hamilton and didn't like him. That fact alone let Malcolm bond with the former MACO leader after all these years. Jon still hadn't gotten over that one yet.  
  
Music began to fill the room and Jon realized that everyone had turned to look at the back of the chapel. First came in the bridesmaids. Hoshi's cousins, Sora and Kim came in first, followed by Alison, Liz and finally T'Pol, as the matron of honor. As Alison floated past, Jon smiled. God, if anyone had told him that he would be in love with one of his former officers, he'd have laughed in their face.  
  
T'Pol, he noted, looked very nice in the flowing, ice blue silk of the bridesmaid's dresses. It was funny, but he really liked her in either her Vulcan robes or in something like she was wearing now. Skin tight clothing just wasn't sexy on her, yet the robes and this dress made her look wonderful. Jon wondered how he could tell her that without coming across like a jerk. He'd have to ask Alison about that.  
  
The music changed and doors in back closed. Seconds later, they re-opened to reveal Hoshi, clad in a strapless, yet flowing silk dress, her hair piled up in cascading curls. She looked beautiful beyond words.  
  
As she started down isle, Jon looked back toward the groom. What he saw made him pissed off. To Jon, Hamilton' expression was one of...boredom. How could anyone look at Hoshi and be bored? Or not choked up with emotion? Why the hell was she marrying such a cold fish?  
  
Glancing over at Trip, he saw that his best friend was eyeing Hamilton with distaste. Malcolm, Jon saw with amusement, was looking at Hoshi as if he'd never seen her before. His jaw was hanging in shock. Travis was trying to hold back his tears and was searching his pocket for a tissue. Phlox, Jon noted, looked worried.  
  
Oh, shit. Phlox looking worried was not a good thing.  
  
Jon turned his attention to the front of the chapel and saw that T'Pol was staring at Phlox, while Alison was trying to catch his eye. She flicked her eyes toward the front row. Following her gaze, Jon saw that Hoshi's father was looking...perturbed.  
  
If she were marrying anyone else, Jon would have written it off as a father just trying to hold onto the image of his daughter as a little girl. But she was marrying Hamilton Leighton; a man that for everyone who knew Hoshi well, pretty much hated at first sight.  
  
As Hoshi took her place at Hamilton' side, Jon took a good look at his friend and former communications officer. She was pale and her eyes were not happy.  
  
That was it. He'd be damned if he was going to let her marry the sonuvabitch.  
  
As the Starfleet chaplain began the service, Jon turned Trip and nudged him. "Get Malcolm's and Travis' attention," he whispered.  
  
Trip tapped Malcolm and threw a nod toward Travis. Malcolm jostled Travis' knee with his leg and surreptitiously pointed to Jon. Leaning forward, Jon whispered. "We've got to stop her."  
  
Trip gave a firm nod of agreement, Malcolm smiled and Travis didn't even blink as he gave a small thumbs up. As Jon straightened up, Major Hayes leaned in and whispered to Jon, "Well, if you're going to do something, the perfect moment is coming up." He then threw Jon an amused grin.  
  
Two minutes later, the chaplain intoned solemnly, "If anyone has a reason as to why this man and this woman should not wed, then speak now or forever hold your peace."  
  
Jon, Trip, Malcolm and Travis all stood as one as Jon shouted, "I do!"  
  
Almost in unison, Trip, Malcolm and Travis followed with, "So do we!"  
  
A gasp went up in the room. Hoshi and Hamilton whirled around, shock on her face, anger on his. The chaplain gulped nervously. "Captain Archer, Commander Tucker, Lieutenant-Commander Reed and Lieutenant Mayweather? All of you object to his marriage?"  
  
To Jon's surprise, Malcolm and Trip pushed their way past Travis and into the aisle. "Hell yes!" responded Trip. "Hoshi, darlin', this guy ain't the one for you. He doesn't respect your opinions or expertise."  
  
"He treats you like an object to be admired, not a vibrant woman to be loved," continued Malcolm fervently.  
  
"And besides, you really don't love him," added Travis.  
  
"If you did love him, you wouldn't look so scared, Hoshi. You haven't let your fears rule you since your first year on the Enterprise. Don't do so now," finished Jon.  
  
Hamilton stepped away from Hoshi and glared at the four men. "How dare you say such things! You call yourselves Hoshi's friends? Get the hell out of my wedding! Now! I swear, none of you will ever be welcome in our home!"  
  
Liz and Alison stepped forward. "Then we won't be welcome either," said Liz. "Because I agree with my husband. Hoshi, you really don't love this putz. You should have stood your ground and not retracted your cancellation of the wedding."  
  
"That's right," agreed Alison. "Hoshi, this is a mistake, a big mistake."  
  
With a snarl, Hamilton shoved the two women back a bit and Jon was hard pressed not to go over and start punching the man. "If you two think this a mistake, then leave, goddammit!"  
  
Liz and Alison grinned at each other. With identical shrugs, they turned and tossed their bouquets over their shoulders, narrowly missing the chaplain. As the Enterprise crew cheered, T'Pol raised an eyebrow and then followed suit. Stepping up to look Hamilton right in the eye, she coolly appraised him. "I find you to be a selfish, closed-minded and narrow thinking human being." As the groom's side gasped and muttered, T'Pol calmly went over to Hoshi and took her hand. "You are my friend and I greatly value your friendship. Know this Hoshi; you can do much better for yourself than to marry this man. Therefore, I find it illogical for me to continue as your matron-of-honor."  
  
T'Pol let go of Hoshi's hand and walked over to join her former crewmates. Jon winked at her and he felt so proud of them all. Facing Hoshi, Jon gave her a sad smile. "Like I said last night, when a Vulcan agrees with a bunch of us humans, you know we're on to something. We all love you Hoshi, or we wouldn't be saying this to you. Marrying this guy is a mistake."  
  
"Shut up!" yelled Hamilton. "Fuck you people! Who the hell do you think you are? You are ruining our wedding! Just get out of here!" Hamilton turned to Hoshi, who was standing there, wide-eyed and stunned. He gave her a little shake. "Hoshi, tell them to leave. You might have served with them for seven years, but they still just see you as the little Ensign, a little sister they can boss around. They don't know you, they don't know who you are now! Tell them to leave!"  
  
Hoshi stepped back, looked at Jon and turned to look at her father. Mr. Sato threw a glance toward Jon and in that split second, Jon knew what he was going to say.  
  
"Hoshi, my dear, it's up to you. If your friends are right and you really don't love Hamilton, then don't you dare marry him."  
  
"Hoshi,"said Hamilton menacingly, "Tell everyone that you love me and let's get married!"  
  
Jon held his breath as Hoshi bit her lower lip for a moment. He could see fear, longing, sadness and finally, determination play across her face. Drawing herself up to her full height, Hoshi tossed her bouquet to her cousin Kim and Jon let go of the breath he was holding. She'd made up her mind.  
  
"Hamilton, my friends are right. I can't marry you. I'd be marrying you for all the wrong reasons and not for the right ones. I'm sorry." She started to walk away, but Hamilton grabbed her. With a rough jerk, he spun her around to face him.  
  
"You stupid fucking bitch! Sorry? Sorry? No, we're getting married and...arrgghhh..."  
  
The Enterprise crew, with the exception of T'Pol, cheered as Hoshi took Hamilton's wrist, with a fluid motion, pulled it back, twisted his arm around and kicked him between the legs. "No one, and I mean no one, speaks to me in such a manner!"  
  
She kicked him again and Jon started laughing as Malcolm, with a proud look on his face, crowed, "Did you see that? That was brilliant! I taught her that move!"  
  
Trip threw an arm around Malcolm, his expression smug. "Yep, that's our girl! Feisty as all get out."  
  
As Hamilton writhed on the floor in pain and as his family and friends gaped in shock, Hoshi marched over to her beaming father and speechless mother. Kissing them both, she said, "I'm sorry about all of this, but I can't marry him. Especially now that he's called me...well, you heard what he said, and tried to manhandle me. Make the reception into a nice family reunion party and have fun, okay?" Her father nodded and her mother's mouth moved, no sound coming out. Mr. Sato took his wife's hand and patted it gently.  
  
Kissing them once more, Hoshi broke away and walked up to Jon. Giving him a hug, she whispered, "Thanks, Jon."  
  
Grinning from ear to ear, all he could think of was to say, "My pleasure. After all, what are friends for?"  
  
"Hoshi! Are you leaving me at the altar for your former captain? That old guy?" gritted out Hamilton as he began to get up off the floor.  
  
Letting Hoshi go, Jon decided that he'd had enough. Ignoring Trip's warning look and Malcolm's resigned one, he pushed past T'Pol and Alison. "For your information, I'm engaged to Alison Hess. So, no, Hoshi is not leaving you for me. But I gotta tell you, calling me old really, really, really pisses me off. You do NOT want to piss me off."  
  
"Well screw you, Jonathan Archer, I just don't give a damn!" Hamilton swung and Jon ducked neatly. As he came up, Jon countered with a full punch and knocked Hamilton flat on his ass.  
  
At the sight of their coach going down, an outraged roar broke out from the football players and they began charging over the pews. Hoshi let out a loud, raucous yell and throwing her bouquet at Hamilton, kicked him in the crotch. As the rest of the wedding guests scattered, the entire Enterprise crew led by Trip and Malcolm, along with Hoshi's brothers and Major Hayes, surged forward and all hell broke loose. 


	4. Admiral's Prerogative

Part Four: An Admiral's Prerogative  
  
Admiral Forrest put down his padd, picked up his drink and took a long, deep gulp. Grimacing as the whiskey burned its way down, he looked at the padd again.  
  
Only the fact that Hamilton Leighton had swung first and that the entire UCLA football overreacted kept Jonathan Archer and his people from being court-martialed. Well, that and the fact that Hamilton Leighton proved to be an utter ass when it came time to cooperate with the Academy's security people.  
  
Civilians.  
  
They could be such damn fools.  
  
Forrest read the damage report one more time and went over for the third time the transcripts of the interviews taken afterward. T'Pol's cracked him up every time he read it. When asked as why she stayed helped her former crewmates in the ensuing fight, the Vulcan woman's response was priceless. "It was only logical. If I had not helped, the brawl, as you call it, would have lasted much longer. As it was, only thirty-five percent of the Academy chapel was damaged and no one required more than an overnight stay in the infirmary. A satisfactory outcome for all involved."  
  
Satisfactory outcome indeed, snorted Forrest. Only a Vulcan could say that with a straight face.  
  
According to Jon, T'Pol calmly went around, ducking swings and kicks as she nerve pinched several hulking football players. Out of everyone there, only she and Phlox came out of the fight without a scratch.  
  
Well, at least the only ones who stayed in the chapel during the fight. The only fortunate part about the whole affair was that most of the members of the two families got out of the chapel and weren't hurt. Geoffry Leighton, Hamilton' father, tried to come back into help his son, but was knocked out by one of the UCLA assistant coaches. He earned a broken leg for his trouble.  
  
When it was all over, the Enterprise crew was victorious and mostly unharmed. A few cuts, lots of bruises and aching bodies, except, of course, for Malcolm Reed. He ended up with a concussion, but that was due to the fact that he threw himself in front of Hoshi Sato to keep her from being hit and dragged off by her irate former groom to be. Forrest shook his head. Poor Reed, his medical file was thicker than the specs for the newest update to the warp engines.  
  
Forrest put down his padd once more and sighed. The press was having a field day with the whole thing, calling Hoshi either "The Brawling Bride-To- Be" or "Starfleet's Pride: The Runaway Bride." At least what they were calling Hamilton Leighton was much worse: "The Groom of Doom" and "The Blast From The Past Ass," were two of Forrest's favorites.  
  
In the end, Starfleet decided not to press charges and didn't pursue the matter further, mainly because public sentiment was on the side of Hoshi Sato and the crew of the Enterprise. But Forrest decided not to take any chances; he wanted them out of sight and out of mind. So he cut vacation orders for Jon and the other officers involved the second it was decided that there wasn't to be a court-martial.  
  
Jon looked at him in surprise when he'd told him. "Admiral, are you serious? A vacation? For six weeks?"  
  
Forrest sat back in his chair and glared at Jon. "The other Admirals and I all agreed that if we punished you and rest, we'd have a public relations nightmare. However, we want this whole fiasco to just die down."  
  
Jon scrubbed his still bruised face with his hands. "I understand that, Admiral, but six weeks vacation?"  
  
Sighing, Forrest leaned forward and fixed Jon with hard eyes. "Williams wanted it to be longer. The fact is that by sending all of you on vacation, we get some peace and quite and a chance for the whole story to die a natural death. So, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Take the damn vacation and be grateful!"  
  
Jon gave him a delighted grin and tossed off a crisp salute. "Aye, sir!" Breaking the salute off, he continued to smile. "Admiral, thank you, for all your help in this matter."  
  
"Jon, I like Hoshi Sato too and I was damn sorry to see her leave active Starfleet duty to teach at the Academy. It wasn't her fault her former groom was an ass. Now, I have a meeting, so go on, get the hell out of here, Jon. I don't want to see hair or hide of any of you for six weeks, understood?"  
  
"Understood, Admiral. See you in six weeks."  
  
Jon started for door and just as he opened it, Forrest called out. "And Jon?"  
  
"Yes, Admiral?"  
  
"For God's sake, don't you dare get into another brawl like that ever again!"  
  
"Yes, sir!" He grinned and winked before closing the door behind him.  
  
Chuckling at the memory, Forrest took another drink from his glass and buzzed his aide in the outer officer. "Torres?"  
  
"Yes, Admiral?"  
  
"Where are Archer, Sato and the rest of the Musketeers now?"  
  
There was a split second pause. Like all good aides, Torres knew what his boss was asking about and probably knew what Forrest was thinking before he himself did. "They are in Hawaii, sir. Maui, to be exact, sir. Staying at a resort off of the Hana Highway."  
  
Forrest gave an approving grunt. "Good. Keep having an eye on them, Torres."  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
Forrest snapped off the comm and finished his drink, muttering, "Please, dear God, keep them out of trouble for two more weeks. Two more, that's all I ask."  
  
Unbeknownst to him, the forces of chaos in the universe heard and decided to play nice, but just this once. 


	5. Drinks, Anyone?

Part Five: Drinks, Anyone?  
  
Life was good, damn good.  
  
Hoshi lay under a cluster of several large beach umbrellas, enjoying the sight of Jon, Trip, Malcolm and Travis playing beach volleyball. They were all shirtless, chests glistening in the sun, muscles rippling. Not bad, Hoshi mused, not bad at all. Jon, who just celebrated his fifty-fifth birthday, looked damn good. Travis, the baby of the group, still had the hard muscles he sported as green ensign. Finally there was Trip and Malcolm, both in their forties and in great shape. In Malcolm's case, terrific shape, but Trip was no slouch in the muscle department. The laughter and good-natured bantering of the four men drifted on the breeze, nestled between the crash of the waves against the shore.  
  
Next to her, sitting in a stadium chair and reading a padd, was T'Pol. The Vulcan woman had on a large floppy hat and was wearing a loose, flowing white dress. Her mate, Strenn, was asleep next to her. He was a scientist and a poet who had traveled to twenty-five different planets and spoke fifteen languages. Older than T'Pol, Strenn was considered as much of an iconoclast by his family as T'Pol was by hers. He treated her human friends with respect and consideration. Hoshi had immediately liked him, as he'd proved to have a very subtle sense of humor.  
  
On her other side was Alison, reading an engineering journal while eyeing Jon and the rest of the men from time to time. When she looked at Jon, a goofy smile would appear on her face. The smile would then morph into a smirk and she would twist her new wedding ring around her finger. Three weeks ago, the former senior officers of the Enterprise watched them marry on the beach at sunset. The reception was then held in a little bar a mile down the beach. Instead of feeling put out that she was once more a bridesmaid and not a bride, Hoshi was happy for her two friends. Jon and Alison were a good fit for each other.  
  
The final figures under the umbrellas were Liz, who was cheering on her husband and Malcolm, between sips of her drink and working on her needlepoint, and Phlox and his wife Vezda. Vezda was Phlox's third wife and an artist. She joined them four weeks ago and since then had done portraits of all of them singly and two group ones as well. Unlike Feezal, who Trip was still not comfortable around, Vezda was very attentive towards Phlox and hadn't tried to seduce any of the human men. Hoshi liked her very much and the two chatted away in several different languages.  
  
All in all, Hoshi reflected, their Starfleet enforced vacation was proving to be just what they all needed. They were taking the time to really relax and have fun together. T'Pol was logically combining her visit with her former crewmates with a study of Hawaii's volcanoes and Strenn was inspired by the Hawaiian landscape to write some new poems. Phlox invited Vezda to join him, as he wanted to combine catching up more with his former crewmates with what he called a 'conjugal visit'.  
  
As for herself, Hoshi viewed the whole thing as a godsend. It allowed her to avoid her mother, who was still mortified by the ignominious end to her only daughter's wedding. Her father, on the other hand, brought her brothers out for a visit last week and was happy he didn't have Hamilton as a son-in-law.  
  
Hoshi sipped her water and laughed as Malcolm performed a gravity-defying jump and spiked the ball. It landed perfectly between Jon and Trip, who looked incredulously at each other. Over the sound of the ocean, Trip's cry of, "Sonuvabitch! How the fuck did you DO that?" rang out clearly.  
  
Liz, Alison and Hoshi started to giggle. Phlox and Vezda stopped their conversation about their daughter's children, grinned, and then started up once more. T'Pol put her padd down and adjusted her hat, her eyebrows disappearing into her bangs. "One would think that Charles would understand by now that Malcolm is an intense competitor who uses all of his skills to win."  
  
"One would think," said Liz in a wry tone.  
  
"Trip is a bit obtuse when it comes to things like that," mused Alison.  
  
"They've had one too many beers and Trip isn't thinking straight," decided Hoshi.  
  
As Malcolm spiked the ball once more, leading to another blast of curses from Trip, T'Pol nodded in agreement. "I do believe that your logic in this matter is flawless, Hoshi." She picked up her padd and began reading again.  
  
Finally, the game ended and the four men jogged their back to the stand of umbrellas. Jon collapsed next to Alison, breathing hard, while Travis easily slid next to Liz. Trip and Malcolm joined Hoshi, Malcolm grinning happily while Trip rummaged around in his cooler for beer. "Good game?" asked Hoshi.  
  
Opening his beer bottle, Trip grimaced. "Damn it all, I still don't get how he can spike a ball so well..." He frowned when Malcolm leaned in to Hoshi, laughing.  
  
Travis, who settled his head against Liz's thighs, grinned. "I told you, it's all vectors and angles. Malcolm can see and calculate those in his sleep, man."  
  
"Well crap..." muttered Trip. Helpless with laughter, Malcolm fell back on the mat, pounding the ground. As the rest of group looked on in varying degrees of incredulity, Trip nudged Malcolm with his foot and scowled. "It ain't that funny, Mal. Jesus, I can't give you a drink these days without you getting all giddy."  
  
As Hoshi giggled, Jon took a sip from Alison's drink and said in a sly voice, "Jeez Trip, I thought it was your magic fingers that were making Malcolm all giddy..."  
  
Trip turned red and threw his shirt at Jon as the older man hid behind his wife. Malcolm continued to laugh, even as he too, turned beet red.  
  
"No, it's the addition of the runaway bride over there that's making both of them giddy due to loss of sleep," piped up Liz.  
  
"Giddy and loud," mock-groused Travis. "For a petite person, your voice really carries."  
  
Hoshi felt her own cheeks grow hot as Phlox's and Vezda's chuckles joined in with the humans. T'Pol gave a sigh, like a teacher facing a classroom full of unruly children. "I will never understand the human fascination for being amused over sexual matters."  
  
"Humans laugh over sexual matters because when one considers the logic of sex, there is none to be found, my wife." Strenn neatly sat up and stretched, his white shirt and pants not betraying a wrinkle.  
  
Malcolm, finally sitting up and catching his breath, took Trip's beer and drank from it. "Y'know, I do think Strenn is right."  
  
Trip snorted and snatched back his beer. "Don't start Malcolm, 'cause I'm in no mood to be philosophical."  
  
"You never are, Charles," said T'Pol, her voice as cool as the breeze coming off the ocean. Her remark triggered another round of laughter.  
  
Trip scowled and Hoshi felt sorry for him. Leaning over Malcolm, she gave Trip a quick kiss. "Everyone, stop picking on Trip. He's the one who suggested we come here, so cut him some slack."  
  
Malcolm scooted over and draped an arm across Trip's shoulders. "That's right. So, I hereby declare that 'Picking On Trip Day' is over...at least until we've all had a bit more to drink, that is."  
  
"Here, here!" said Jon, earning another scowl from Trip.  
  
Turning to Hoshi, he whined, "Hoshi, darlin' help me out some more here."  
  
Hoshi stood up and waved toward the small bar located at the edge of beach, in a shack under some palm trees. As everyone looked at her in confusion, a very petite woman, with curly hair and glasses popped up and ran over. "Can I help you, Ms. Sato?"  
  
Feeling a wicked grin on her face, Hoshi nodded. "Yes. We need round of those Pineapple Passion drinks, both with alcohol and without."  
  
The woman looked at the group and bit her lower lip for a moment. Then she smiled. "I'll bring out glasses and four pitchers, two with kick and two virgin ones. Anything else you all need?"  
  
"Tequila!" said Alison. Next to her, Jon groaned. Throwing him a smile, she continued. "Tequila with wedges of lime and a salt shaker."  
  
"Some of those pineapple kabobs would be lovely," Malcolm murmured, taking Hoshi's hand and pulling her back down on the mat.  
  
Travis flashed a large smile. "Hey, since I don't have to drive anywhere, throw in a bottle or two of sake...chilled."  
  
Liz rolled her eyes and sighed. "Hoshi, I'm not sure I can forgive you for introducing him to sake. It's all he wants to drink these days. I'll stick to the Pineapple Passion thingys."  
  
Phlox and Vezda both cheerfully got up together. "Vezda and I would like a large pitcher of ginger ale, with lime in it, if you please. For now we're going to go for a dip in the water. We'll be back shortly."  
  
The woman pulled out a pad of paper and pencil from her pocket. "Let me write this down, as I really do have a terrible short term memory. Two leaded Pineapple Passion pitchers, two virgins, sake, tequila with all the fixings, pineapple fruit kabobs and ginger ale with lime. Anything else?"  
  
Hoshi looked around at the remaining members of the group. T'Pol pursed her lips tentatively. "Hoshi, are you sure this is a wise course of action? The last time everyone started drinking heavily, you passed out, Charles and Malcolm nearly mated in the transport, Jonathan and Alison exposed their buttocks to passing vehicles and Elizabeth nearly emptied the contents of her stomach onto Phlox."  
  
At her words, Jon groaned and buried his face in the crook of Alison's neck, Travis and Liz guffawed, and both Trip and Malcolm sported almost identical blushes.  
  
Hoshi settled back against Trip and Malcolm, who draped their arms around her. Trip planted a kiss on her shoulder, while Malcolm dropped a kiss on her forehead. "That's all true T'Pol, but in the end it was the catalyst for my not marrying Hamilton."  
  
"She has a point, my wife," said Strenn, his voice and countenance serene.  
  
T'Pol sat perfectly still for a moment. Swinging her head back towards the woman, she said, "I suggest that you also bring them a pitcher of Lemon Drops. I believe that is Hoshi's favorite drink."  
  
The woman grinned and wrote on her pad. "I'll have all of this out to you in about fifteen minutes! I'll be right back with the fruit kabobs." She walked off, humming a tune, which Hoshi recognized from an old musical..possibly 1776 or something like that.  
  
T'Pol turned back to the group of humans and Hoshi could swear that amusement lit the Vulcan woman's eyes. "I take it from your expressions that my addition to the orders was satisfactory?"  
  
"Hell, yes, T'Pol." answered Trip for them all. "That was mighty thoughtful of you."  
  
"Just make sure that you do not repay my thoughtfulness with unseemly displays of public affection," said T'Pol.  
  
Hoshi grinned. "Don't worry T'Pol, we'll be good." She ignored Trip's and Malcolm's hands gripping her behind and tried not to giggle at the lusty looks they were throwing at her and at each other.  
  
"I hope," said T'Pol dryly, "that this does not prove to be a case of 'famous last words.' I do not want to be the one to explain any uncouth behavior to Admiral Forrest."  
  
"It won't be," promised Hoshi and everyone else shook their heads in agreement.  
  
T'Pol merely arched an eyebrow and looked at her husband. 


	6. That's Why They Pay Him the Big Bucks an

Part Six: That's Why He's Paid The Big Bucks  
  
Lieutenant Sasha Torres shut off the screen and wiped away the tears streaming down his face. Taking a deep swig of his coffee, he summoned up all of his control to keep from dissolving into another fit of laughter.  
  
He needed to be calm when he told the Admiral what his friend had just reported to him.  
  
Sitting at his desk for a few more moments, Torres finally got up and went into Forrest's office. The admiral looked up from his computer screen and frowned. "What is it, Torres? Do I have a meeting? Is someone here to see me?"  
  
Shaking his head, Torres placed a padd in front of him, not trusting himself to speak.  
  
Forrest picked it up and started reading. As he did so, his eyes became wider and wider. When he was finished, he carefully set the padd down on the desk. "Torres, who else knows about this?"  
  
"Besides my friend who owns the resort, just her other bartender, her husband, and the justice of the peace who married them, sir. Oh, and of course, the rest of the Enterprise senior staff, sir."  
  
Forrest lowered his head and his shoulders started to shake. For a moment, Torres entertained the idea that Forrest was actually crying, but when the admiral raised his head back up, he was laughing hysterically. "God...god...she married them both?"  
  
Torres nodded affirmatively, his own control beginning to slip. "Yes, sir, she did."  
  
"With both Tucker and Reed wearing gold..."  
  
"Body paint, yes sir," finished Torres. "Apparently, they'd lost a bet with Doctor Phlox and they had to wear the body paint."  
  
"And with pineapple hats on all three?"  
  
"Err, yes, sir...according to my friend, they had to wear them because they lost a bet to Lieutenant Mayweather. Although, my friend had no idea why they had to wear pineapple hats..." Torres stopped as Forrest was howling.  
  
"And...and...God...they all ended up mooning a bus of tourists who had gotten lost?"  
  
Torres started laughing again and sputtered, "T'Pol told my friend it was due to Captain Archer and his wife...  
  
"Oh...oh...oh...and...and...no one knew who they all were?" At this point Forrest was nearly falling out of his chair.  
  
Gasping for breath, Torres managed to eke out a strangled, "Yeah..."  
  
Forrest roared and fell back into his chair. They laughed together for a very long time.  
  
Finally, the admiral wiped his face and calmed down. "Oh, Torres, wipe this report off of this padd...no, better yet, incinerate the whole damned thing. Then when that's done, send a wedding gift to the three of them. Send the same thing you sent Archer and Hess three weeks ago, just in a different color and bigger."  
  
"Aye, sir. Anything else?" Torres picked up the padd and waited.  
  
A sly, slightly evil smile lit the Admiral's face, "Yes, there is actually. Send a private note to T'Pol. Tell her that I want us to have lunch together before she returns to Vulcan; that I want to hear the whole story from her."  
  
Torres waited a beat as Forrest crossed his arms, adding, "And Torres, no one, and I mean, NO ONE is to hear about what happened, other than a general marriage announcement. Understood?"  
  
"Aye, sir." Torres crisply saluted and managed not to start laughing again until he was safely out of the office.  
  
Epilogue: All's Well That Ends Well  
  
Hideki and Noriko Sato re-played the message from their daughter in silence. One parent was thrilled, the other in shock.  
  
Hoshi's smiling face filled the screen.  
  
"Mother, Father, I tried calling you in person earlier, but you were both out, so I decided to leave you this message."  
  
She stopped and took a deep breath. "I called to tell you that yesterday, I got married to Trip Tucker and Malcolm Reed. We had a civil ceremony with my friends from the Enterprise as our witnesses."  
  
Hideki paused the recording. "Do you still want me to replay the rest?"  
  
Noriko waved her hands at him, gesturing for him to continue. Starting the message again, they watched as Hoshi's glowing face resumed speaking. "Now, I know that you both may be thinking I married them on the rebound from the whole fiasco with Hamilton, but let me assure you, I didn't. And I didn't marry them because I'm afraid of being alone somehow. I married them because they're my best friends and I love them deeply. It just took my wedding from hell and a drunken game of 'Truth or Dare' to get me to realize it."  
  
Hoshi paused and smiled even wider. "Even though we got married in a civil ceremony, we're willing to go through another one for our families. We're thinking of doing it in the Academy chapel, just without the UCLA football team this time. I'd like to come home next week with my husbands and their parents to discuss it all with you. Trip's folks are excited to meet you, as is Malcolm's mother."  
  
"Look, I have to go now, but I'll call you on Sunday around noon so we can talk in person. I love you both and I want you to believe me when I say that I'm very happy."  
  
"I love you," repeated Hoshi and screen went blank.  
  
Turning to her husband, Noriko grasped his hand tightly. "She's...she's..."  
  
"Married to both Trip and Malcolm. Yes, I heard it too. She's also very happy my dear."  
  
"But, but, but," sputtered Noriko. "BOTH of them?"  
  
Hideki shrugged. "So?"  
  
"Two! Two!"  
  
"I am perfectly able to count, my dear," sighed Hideki. "Noriko, just be happy for our daughter. And if that isn't enough, consider this: Hoshi now has two husbands, so it will mean, at the very least, that you will be guaranteed at least TWO grandchildren."  
  
Noriko sat perfectly still for a few seconds and then beamed at her husband.  
  
*** Thousands of miles away, Hoshi Sato lay sandwiched in between her two husbands, a small smile on her lips. Trip stirred in his sleep, throwing an arm across her, while Malcolm shifted to nuzzle deeper into her hair and neck. With a delighted exhale, Hoshi clasped Trip's hand and grasped Malcolm's.  
  
"Happy, love?" murmured Malcolm in a sleepy voice.  
  
"Yes," whispered Hoshi. "Very happy."  
  
"Good, darlin', so are we," yawned Trip, not opening his eyes.  
  
As the two men snuggled closer, Hoshi closed her eyes, joy and contentment washing over her. As sleep started to claim her, one thought drifted across her consciousness: everything Phlox said to her all those weeks ago had come true.  
  
By dumping Hamilton at the altar, she'd found passion, appreciation, friendship and joy-it existed on the Enterprise and afterward right under her very nose. With Trip and Malcolm, Hoshi knew she was now married for the all the right reasons. 


End file.
